15 similar why?s

why do i think for someone else more than myself?

why shud i b nice to ppl?

why cant i b more selfish?

why am i da one who tolerate with ppl more most of da time?

why do i obey ppl altho i dont want to?

why i dont know how to say 'no' to ppl most of da time?

why do i felt dat im being used at times?

why do i bother wad will happen to other ppl if i dont help them instead of wad will happen to me if i help them?

why whenever i help ppl out n sometimes i don think they actually appreciate it?

why do i sometimes think ppl r making use of my patience?

why do i always have to hold back my anger n dissatisfaction to myself?yet all i can do is hide myself in my room n swallow the dissatisfaction down or juz let da tears flow a while..

why cant i find a frenz who i can really rely on?

why cant ppl try to help me if they can when i can help then when i can?

why do i felt things r juz so unfair at times?

why must i xperience all these ever since years ago till NOW?


dont the question why always occur in ur life?
as i've always wonder why..

u cant blame me for being who i am today and having such thoughts as i've xperience sth dat some of u ppl nv xperienced b4..

there're lots more question in my mind as i don wanna write it down..

some ppl r juz so ridiculous for being unsatisfied with sth small..
wad im really not satisfied about is just the word 'fair'
i don think 'fairness' r on my side most of the time..

no..i don hope for being blessed or sth after giving out some help n being nice to ppl
all i want is just at least appreciate it..don care a little or lot..just at least appreciate it n that will do..
is it really dat hard to appreciate a small thing someone have done for u?
whoever helped me or gimme a hand in anything b4..i do appreaciate it..
u don see me bashing..scolding..teasing..or wadever to those who helped me..
ppl might not remember..
but whoever treats me good or bad b4..i'll rem..

dont care how bad u treat me b4..or i know wad's da point helping this fellow..n stuff..but still..i'll help if i can..
most ppl will go like..oh..any prob i'll help u..but when come to matters of money..who actually really bother u most of da time?not much..
in another words i can say im a bank?-.-"..without interest?lol..or mayb sometimes ppl don have to return it back as they might think i 4got bout it..=)
its so dumb dat i save my money n i don use it all..
whereas i have to act infront of my fam xpecially my grandmother as she noes around how much i saved..
whenever she come back from johor..she'll go like where's da money..
i cant tell her i lend it to my fren or whoever..
n so it seems like im spending all my money..n i juz have to keep quiet for it..
no..im not trying to show how 'mulia' i am..just..urgh..sigh..got nth to say la..

me in front of ppl..sometimes..can b called acting la..
don like also act like..
mad also act not mad..
dislike also act like..
even if im really mad n i wanna tegur abit..im juz gonna make it in a joking way so dat ppl wont take it dat seriously..-.-
why?cos i care for ppl's feelings..
know being cheat by ppl..in any way..i'll juz stay back n act i dont know..seems like im dumb..

i dont know why..its juz me..
eg.ppl wanna borrow money..tho i wanna say i don have..i wanna say no..even sometimes i said no..don have..i'll end up handing them da money..-.-..
as i'll think..wad happen if i dont borrow them?they wont want da money for no reason..this dat this dat..
eventho i don have da amount they wanted..still i'll try to borrow da amount dat i can..

sometimes i think..
y i have to worry bout things altho im quite stable in some things..eg..i have cash..
i can get wad i want after saving da amount..
its weird dat sometimes im worry..i kept thinking i cant spend all my money..wad if donno who wanna borrow money n i don have it?-.-"..yes im dumb..
yet some ppl..dont have to worry bout it tho they really have financial probs n stuff

i rem last time i talked to someone bout my prob b4..n she told me..its a test from god..
till now i kept thinking..when is this gonna end?how long will da test b?im afraid i cant handle it anymore longer..

but still..every1's patience has a limit..
so far i havent lose my anger to anyone yet..frenz at least..family..is bro counted?as we used to argue...-.-"
i'll c how long more till i'll lose it..
ofcos i hope..i wont lose it to anyone of u..=)