she?who?

there's this girl..who's i would say very close to me..just like my clone i guess..

im quite speechless bout her..
but its quite a long post..heh
and im no where better as well..
she havent change much since the day i get to really know her..
she's just..

seems like ppl take advantage/make use of her whenever they can..ok..sounds so "kua jeung"..
she noes bout it..but she just couldnt help it once again..
sometimes..or most of the time depends on situation..she just felt..yes..helpful as she get to help others but also useless dat she cant even take care/stand up for herself..
and also when she noes its not right to shut up on certain matters..she'll still shut up n keep it to herself if can..
she cares too much of how ppl feel n what ppl thinks more than herself?
its a diff thing if its someone that she really wants to help..

she just felt as if like..
its their prob..its wad they've done that leads them to such situations..
n guess what..she's da one that handles their circumstances?aint that just too much?how fair/unfair is this to her?
but nonetheless..she's now in such position cos of wad she have done..she have to face her own circumstance..

she sometimes wonder..if she really looks like those kind of ppl that once ppl ask for help..no matter wad situation it is..or how close or not close this person is to her..there's a high possibility for her to say yes..no matter how unwilling she is..
her fren once said that she doesnt look like a person who'll say yes to almost anything but there's an "aura" in her that she's willing to help..
wonder how true this statement is..hehe


she started to think bout certain stuffs again recently..
tho its not necessary..but she just couldnt help it kua..
just thinking..its her fren business..y would she wanna care so much?
they seems fine..n she's right there hiding one conner thinking so much..
sometimes she just think..mayb she shudnt noe too much..tho she wants to..cos she cares..but sometimes knowing too much..as days goes by..things just start popping into her mind again..

she wanted to ask..but guess she dare not..or think she should not..
as she wonder who's she to bother so much?
but then she don ask doesnt mean she dont care okay?
if she don care she wouldnt even have wonders in her mind..

do they even wan her to bother in the first place?
think bout it la my dear fren..
mayb they doesnt want u to..rite?
"ke po" ppl might call u..
if they really wan u to "masuk campur"..they'll eventually talk to u bout it..
or she might b wrong..or i might b wrong..
if we're wrong..pls 4give..
its not easy to keep acting as if u're fine..
ppl can see it somehow..so no point hiding/acting always..
rite?
but i think she'll still do it..-.-"


some ppl thinks that doing such things might b good for her..
but have u ppl ever think that doing such things..might even "scare" her?
make her afraid somehow?
stressed some how?
but she just kept quiet..
cos sometimes she just listen to orders..n dare not to object it..
well..as if she object it ppl will listen..
i guess she tried b4..but it doesnt work..
its like..donno how many on 1..
once again she felt slightly unfair..
she doesnt want to sounds so unwilling to do so when she's asked to..
its not like she's unwilling..
but then at least not everytime la rite..
felt as if like they're picking on her..
yes..cos they think its good for her..
but have u asked if its really good for her?sth dat she wants?
she do have someone to go to for this issue..but not too sure when will she speak up bout it..
so..oh well..
note : this is a one sided thinking..heh


she's just ranting too much lately..
but oh well..
da only way to xpress?
but ranting doesnt seems to b a way to help her..
its still in her..

if u read this..perhaps u can just ignore this..
as i do not noe how much u understand this..
if u noe who is she..i think i suggest u not to ask her wad's wrong..
unless u wanna get a disappointed ans..
don b suprised..if u asked her wad's wrong..n da ans u get is nth..=)
unless u think that..she'll tell u wad's it bout la..hehe
but as far as i understand her..she'll most likely say nth..heeee
unless u're really so "special" in a way to her..as she really can tell u like anything n everything..
mayb u are "someone" to her..but perhaps its not da right time to tell yet?
not sure..=)