silencer

does it happen to be, the loud, crazy, noisy, open ones can mix around easily and have friends easily yet the quiet-er one, the cooler one, serious one, tends to be isolated and no matter how hard they try, its just almost impossible to fit in and be crazy?

well, at least that's how i felt tho..

being the 'slightly more matured', not acting too dumb n crazy, not talking too much, its not easy to mix in with a bunch of people..

is it just because people like this cant be as silly and crazy so they are just not that fun to be with?

i have no idea~

and when people may go like..

"ur guards are too high", "u still dont mix with ppl", "y r u still so cool", etc etc and etc etc..

all i can do is just, release a smile, and remain silent..

sometimes, my guards may b high for u, but not other people..well, take it as diff ppl sees me differently..=)

perhaps can put it this way, i have my own ways, and sometimes, or perhaps, most of the time it depends whether i want or not..if i want, really want, i'll make an effort to, otherwise, i'll just take it slowly..

there's no rule stated that u gotta be "OH HEI! bla bla bla and bla bla bla" to mix in or to be friend..

instead, if im not that kind of person, why should i be the 'fake me' and act that way..

perhaps u can say im the "safe" person n would take it slow..

and perhaps that explains why i dont have much frens (in a way) as well..=p

as i also notice, sometimes even if u put in so much effort or take a lot of initiative, its pointless as well..

regardless if its a new fren, good fren, close fren, or in certain matter,occasion etc, u'll still get sick and tired to take initiative..

so at the end of the day, why purposely make so much effort to fit in?

should i say...."if i want to talk to u, i'll talk to u" haha

the feeling of being a silent person would b quite cool i guess..

it sometimes give other ppl the feeling of, 'this person is quiet, yet mysterious, and seems like know a lot of stuff altho quiet'

boo ha~